Furry FeetNotes: The Nordic Theory of Love
I found a book about Finland while shopping in Thailand that taught me a lot about America.
Photo by the author. Street art in Nimmanhaemin, Chiang Mai.
While wondering through the Nimmanhaemin area of Chiang Mai, Thailand a few weeks ago, I happened upon a bookstore. It was a small local shop with a menagerie of books in a pot-pourri of languages. Thai, English, French, German, Dutch — and more.
My moral compass feels obligated to buy something from any locally run bookstore. Could be because I used to work in one. Could just be literary instinct. I browsed the English section, and it wasn’t long before something caught my attention.
I picked it up, thumbed through the pages, and took this book to the cash box.
The Nordic Theory of Everything by Anu Partanen — a Finnish journalist married to an American journalist. They split their time between Finland and New York.
This book had me at hello for a couple of reasons.
● We visited Finland last year and loved it. Maybe it was because it was our first post-COVID travel opportunity and it felt fantastic to go somewhere further than the golf course we love on. But Finland was one of those places I walked away from with a sense of — “I could live here.” Helsinki is a lovely city that has big city perks, without the crowds. The people were exceptionally friendly. Swaths of green space. I felt at home with Finnish coffee culture. Unlike many who seek the comforts of warmer climes, I am very comfortable with cold, dark winters and mild Summers with endless light. Plus, Santa Claus apparently lives in the Lapland part of Finland. So that’s cool.
A book about their theory of life and work was appealing.
● My last name is “Anderson”. Swedish for “Son of Anders”. A book about the ways of my Swedish family is a good way to pass the time on a long airplane ride.
This little treasure from a bookshop in Chiang Mai has become one of my favorite reads of 2023.
The book is part memoir, part journalistic non-fiction, exploring how and why the Nordic countries think about like a little differently than we do in the US. Misconceptions of life, morals, and policy in the Nordic lands abound. The Nordic Theory of Everything set a lot of this straight. Even for those who will never adhere to assumptions about Partanen’s political views, here are three things from this book worth noting.
1. The Nordic Theory of Love is an excellent rule of life.
As a person of faith, having a theory of love, as a basis for everything else, appeals to me. A lot. A good life is not about my self-realization. A good life is about how my self-realization, choices, beliefs, and actions impact others around me. Love is a good place to begin.
The Nordic theory of love, according to Partanen, is this:
People can love and be loved best in a space of independence and equality.
Therefore, we love our spouses, children, co-workers, and society best when we set up systems which allow all people to live without dependencies. She introduces this idea in the first chapter and skillfully applies the theory to every part of society.
There is much to agree with here. While she made a reasonable argument to apply nordic love at a national policy level (a bigger topic than can be tackled in my little ole Substack Newsletter), there’s interesting application in my small world of family and consulting with nonprofit organizations and businesses. How might I serve people in such a way that each one lives out their highest potential, free to love and serve more people around them? Leave no one out. Society works together without being codependent.
Heady, utopian stuff for sure — but the application of love is a small thing I can do in my small circles today to make society a better place for everybody.
2. No matter how a society organizes itself, selfishness will bring its downfall.
There’s a lot of chatter today (and in this book) around various perspectives of how to structure a free society. How much should the government have to say about it? What is the extent of individual rights? How do we create policies that help people - ALL people - to live without dependency? How do we work toward a happier society?
It’s a critical discussion which I fear our polarization is incapable of having.
Here’s what I can do about it. Look for my selfishness and squash it when I see it.
Learn to listen.
Be generous.
Let kindness rule.
People and the selfishness (or lack thereof) make or break systems.
3. The world is a great, big, beautiful place. Learn from each other.
I don’t believe in the myth of “American Exceptionalism”. It’s not that I don’t believe America is exceptional at some things in some areas. I do. But neither do I believe in “Finnish Exceptionalism” or “Kenyan Exceptionalism” or “Peruvian Exceptionalism”. We can, and should, and — dare I say — must learn from each other. This big, diverse world is smaller than it ever has been. We can easily connect with people (and their ideas!) from every part of the world. Call me an optimist, but every society has something to show us. Something that can make us better tomorrow than we are today. Rather than writing off entire populations of humanity as inferior, it seems prudent to set aside biases — and to learn.
I think about these words from Frederick Buechner a lot. This seems a fitting place to bring them up again.
“Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don’t be afraid.”
Yes, The Nordic Theory of Everything is something Finniphiliacs everywhere will enjoy.
Yes, people who align too closely with the idea of American Exceptionalism will probably not get through the first chapter.
But I found this book fascinating.
Sometimes a little depressing.
But, in the end, hopeful.
And who doesn’t need a little hope these days?
Until next time — You are doing better than you think.
You have more potential than you know.
B.
This is my every Sunday-ish newsletter containing bits and bobs of what I’m reading, writing, watching, thinking, and experimenting with this week. Every month I also send my complete notes from a book I’ve read, so you can decide if you want to read it too! Like the old version of Cliff’s Notes. But more Hobbit-like. Furry feetnotes.
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I am a consultant, coach, and trainer with Growability® Consulting, specializing in non-profit and cross-cultural business and leadership. Check out the Growability® Podcast at all your favorite podcast places.Start writing today. Use the button below to create your Substack and connect your publication with Furry FeetNotes.